It was a strange day. All around.
I went on call at 8am, and woke up super pumped at 9am because scheduling didn't call at 4am. So I hopped on the computer to check where I was at on the reserve list. I was #1 to go. Juuust then, scheduling started calling. So I looked at my schedule and saw that I had a trip. I checked it out - Fly to Miami in 2 1/2 hours, lay over for 24 hours, fly home. Google: Miami weather - 88 degrees. Done.
So I hustle a little to get to the airport and I make it - no problem (there's no way I'm going to miss a 24 hour layover in Miami). Got to the aircraft and all is good in the hood. Crew members are a tad odd, but what's new... We start boarding the special assistant passengers, and there was an elderly woman sitting in first class who had an "assistant" in the first row behind first class. They both spoke little English but were incredibly sweet, so, Welcome Aboard m'ladies! Then 3 more ... very ... special assistant passengers boarded. They were also sitting in the row behind first class. Which is fortunate, because they wanted to watch everything that I did for the 4 hours we were on the plane together. And from their nearly front-row seats, they could! I won't go into detail, but throughout the boarding process, the woman said to me, "Thanks for sharing," (Before I had spoken a single word to her... Maybe she was thanking me for sharing my airplane?), "Must be like a... a rough road. And a smooth road sometimes. A little rough, a little smooth?" ... About who knows what, and "What's another word for "Patience?" And she was not working on a crossword. She was simply sitting in her seat staring at me. You're asking another word for patience? This is simply ironic.
But still, my attitude was good and people were coming on the airplane pumped for Miami. As I'm welcoming some new faces on board I hear from the back of the airplane, "MYYY PHOOONE!!!" In the same tone I'd expect to hear, "FIRE!" As I look down the aisle, a female passenger is literally barreling towards me. Knocking my dear newcomers over in order to get to the front of the plane. Along with "MY PHONE," she is also loudly announcing, "It's up at the gate! Don't eat my cookies!" After she told me her situation, which was, surprisingly, that she forgot her phone up at the gate area but left her cookies at her seat, I told her to keep her boarding pass with her so she can go get her phone and to come back down to the plane once she got it.
And that I would not eat her cookies.
One passenger remarked, "Umm, I don't think we want to eat those cookies!" Thanks... We were all thinking it, but I'm glad you said it.
In a few short minutes she was back with phone in hand, and shortly thereafter, you guessed it, cookie in mouth.
Thankfully a few long minutes later the gate agent showed up with our departure paperwork and said we were just waiting for 3 more passengers, but besides that we were ready to go. Soon after, 3 gentleman that were tall enough to be NBA stars showed up and packed their duffel bags in the bins. As soon as I looked at the passenger name list, I realized that they were, indeed, NBA stars.
The flight was almost normal-ish. Everybody and their neighbor wanted Sprite or Cran-Apple Juice. I think I served 1 Diet Coke, which is the drink of choice for most botox-ed out women (apparently not the Miami ones), but whatever.
Almost half way through the flight, elderly woman with economy cabin assistant waved me down with a cream and pink polka-dot make-up bag. Since she was tiny and quiet, I crouched down and in to hear what she said. "This is for you," she whispered, and gently thrust the bag into my hand, "It's Estee Lauder." Was I really being tipped with Estee Lauder products? I thanked her, backed away slowly (so I could see the glimmer in her eye in case this was a joke) and opened the bag when I got to the galley. Yup - it was a bag full of Estee Lauder make up, lotions and potions! I've been thanked verbally, with a handshake, and with cash, but never with Estee Lauder. Maybe she saw premature crows feet, maybe she was hinting at my lack of attention to lipstick (tinted chap stick is good enough, no?), but I like to think she just appreciated my service so much she felt she just had to bless me with ...Estee Lauder. Best. Tip. Ever.
The rest of the flight goes on interrupted but not too note-worthy, and we arrived in Miami 30 minutes early (Thank You God). Slowly each oddball deplaned, and in between them, "normal" passengers came up to us and said, "This was just a really strange flight... Lots of weird people. But you did a great job! Thanks!"
Deplaning took about 4 times longer than average, but that was expected. After everyone got off, there were still lots of things in the overhead bins (which is not normal for a non-through flight). For instance, my coworker spotted a large roller bag. Turns out, someone got off the plane and left their entire vacation wardrobe behind (we're in Miami, who needs clothes, I suppose?). Also, I set eyes on a smaller, yet still incredibly visible black bag with yellow designs on it. A Nikon camera case. Oh and what's this inside - a large, nice camera, lenses and storage cards inside. Yes. A passenger decided to deplane without taking their thousands-something dollar camera and expensive accessories along. And last-but-not least, there was the stack of half a dozen hats that the ballers brought on board, stowed, and then walked away from. At that point I realized I should have made an announcement for everyone to at least try going to the bathroom before they got off the plane.
That was one of the most entertaining flights I've been on. One of the strangest, no doubt, but I'd sacrifice normalcy for a good story any day.
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